The longest board game I've ever played lasted 26 hours. Axis & Allies Global Edition is a grand World War II strategy game where you lead nations, build military forces, and fight battles. My friends and I loved this game, dedicating weekends at my buddy's lake house to play. These gatherings defined our friendships for years.

Playing was an unforgettable experience...until I forgot it.

"Alan, what was the name of that board game at Mike's lake house?" my wife asked. She tried hard to hold her composure, but panic seeped through.

"Kristin, I don't remember," I replied. She asked basic questions about decades of my career. I couldn't remember that either.

After working 16-hour days, seven days a week for a month, my body pulled the emergency brake because my mind wouldn't. I was too busy being the hero leader during the early days of COVID to notice how far I pushed beyond my limits.

Years later, as a leadership coach, I observed a pattern with self-driven leaders:

The boundaries leaders struggle to set aren't with customers or bosses but with themselves.

In remote work, where professional and personal space blur completely, this self-imposed pressure becomes dangerous.

I was lucky. My "stress-induced visual migraine" subsided in hours, but it gifted me with 3 practices for self-leadership:

1.   Embrace vulnerability as strength. After my episode, I gathered my team and shared what happened. And my vulnerability created space for everyone to acknowledge our limits. We committed to have each other's backs in ways we never had before.

2.   Measure what matters. When we're in "hero mode," we lose perspective on our state. I purchased a blood pressure monitor to track my stress. External data provides the objective reality check that our determined minds overlook.

3.   Proactively enlist support. I approached my leadership and customers. "I'm working on recognizing my limits," I explained, "and there may be times I need to step away to compartmentalize or reset." Together, we acknowledged our roles in creating a sustainable work environment. We created process agreements outside moments of crisis for maintaining boundaries.

Remote work offers unprecedented flexibility, but that freedom requires stronger boundaries. The ultimate act of self-leadership isn't pushing our limits – it's honoring them.