When people imagine working remotely, I think they often picture what they’ll do with the time they get back. A slower morning. A class they could finally fit in. More time with friends, or a lunch break that involves leaving the desk.

In practice, it’s easy to start work a little earlier, let it run a little later, or book straight through the break you meant to take. The commute disappears, and work finds a use for the space. The things you wanted that time for can stay on the wish list.

We’re often better at describing how flexibility helps us meet our responsibilities. We can care for someone, get chores done, pick up the kids. Those are substantial benefits. They can make a difficult day manageable. 

I’d like us to give the same attention to the things we simply enjoy.

Some of that time, for me, is with my wife. We both work remotely, and having coffee together in the morning gives us a chance to talk through the day ahead. I also like making lunch for the two of us and taking the dog for a lunchtime walk. Some of the time we once spent commuting became time we could share.

I enjoy having someone to make lunch for. We can both be home and occupied with our own work, so it gives us a reason to put it down at the same time. Spending time with someone you love can be something you do for yourself, too. I like that we get to share a little of an ordinary day without needing a particular occasion.

That freedom also makes it easier to arrange coffee with colleagues and friends, in person or virtually, or make room for a class or a trip to see family. The possibilities are there.

Making them part of life takes a little more intention than hoping work will leave room.

I don’t always get this right. There are days when I book over lunch or don’t have time for morning coffee with my wife. I invariably regret it. Those are parts of the day I enjoy, and I notice when they’re missing. Being able to rearrange them makes them easy to sacrifice, even when I know I’d rather keep them.

That’s what I value about having a few routines. They give something enjoyable a regular place in the day, instead of leaving it as an idea for when things calm down. Some things might happen often; others need an occasional spot in the calendar. They deserve consideration while we’re making our plans, alongside the work and responsibilities.

Something you want to do for yourself may not have a deadline or anyone reminding you about it. It can be easy to postpone when everything else seems more urgent. Work will fill the space you give it. Holding some of that space for yourself means treating your own enjoyment as a reason to keep a plan.

And enjoying that time is a perfectly good outcome. It doesn’t need to pay for itself through a more productive afternoon.

A conversation might spark a useful idea. A walk might help you think. Those are welcome possibilities, but lunch with someone you care about still matters on an afternoon when you don’t get much done.

I’d like us to think about a good routine as something that makes an ordinary day more enjoyable. It can be flexible enough to survive a busy week without becoming another obligation to maintain perfectly.

Mine includes coffee and lunch with my wife. Yours might look quite different.

Whatever it is, it deserves a place in the day you’re actually going to have, including the busy ones.